Love is an intense feeling of affection, protectiveness, and warmth for another person other than themself. There’s a cliché that says “you cannot love someone without first loving yourself.” However, people who truly love themselves can also file for divorce over several issues. In fact, filing for divorce is sometimes from a place of love and self-worth.
Love is not restricted to humans alone, it covers animals, religions, objects, passions, and ideologies. The topic of LOVE, in the context of people, has been favoured by philosophers, poets, writers, and scientists for generations and the definition has remained practicably similar and interconnected, interestingly.
There’s been a debate about love being a choice or a feeling. Some believe it is characterized by permanence others think it is fleeting in nature. When you fall in love, it seems like you have the world at your fingertips and the thought of falling out of love seems impossible. Everything feels amazing and, more importantly, everything your partner does is spot on. Then suddenly, there’s a change.
The reality is that hearts are broken more often than not. We all would have experienced it or we know friends it happened to. There’s an alarmingly high divorce rate, and some divorces will even happen before the close of today.
People have turned against their loved ones. Others even go as far as developing a feeling of resentment or hatred towards those they love. Relationships don’t just end abruptly, love wanes gradually for some of the reasons I am going to go over.
Failure to give
You can give without loving but it is practically impossible to love without giving. Even the Lord Jesus gave his life in John 3.16 as proof of God’s love. You do not really need to give only material things, immaterial things like your time, your pride, your comfort, your love, and affection, should be easily offered to people that you love. The moment you stop giving to your partner, they are likely to go to where they are given the things they need, and that is why some people have often said “To love is to give.”
The Feeling of being unappreciated
One of the many reasons that could possibly see people fall out of love is when they feel underappreciated, disrespected, and devalued. Complimenting, showing gratitude, or even thanking your partner for their efforts goes a long way in maintaining their love for you. The moment a person senses that they are taken for granted, they tend to withdraw gradually and go where they are commended and appreciated.
Lack of Communication
Communication is one of the bridges that keep every relationship going. Communication means talking, listening, and understanding each other. Your partner must be privy to your daily routines and you must also be accountable to them in terms of your frequent routines.
In the instance where you have a reservation and cannot tell your partner, it builds a chasm between you two, this way, the feelings, and love gradually fade away. In essence, you should be able to tell ALL and everything to those you love but in a courteous and respectable manner as well. Be willing to listen to them too.
To my mind, cheating is whatever you do that you do not want your partner to know about, it is not just about having a sexual affair only. It is very difficult for men and women to forget the pain caused by partners who cheated on them. Should they decide to forgive, they may never relate with them from a place of trust.
Something as small as the password of your mobile device should be available to your partner unless you have secrets that you’re keeping away from them, and why keep a secret from the one you love? This can lead to a divorce.
Falling in love with someone else
No matter how good-looking or romantic your partner is, there’s likely someone out there that looks and acts much better. There are instances where people fall out of love with their partners because they have met other people. This is quite sad but when you’re always thinking about someone else other than your partner, you may have fallen out of love with them.
Physical or verbal abuse breeds a lack of affection in humans. An abusive partner more often than not pushes their partner to fall out of love with them. How can you be in love with someone and hurt them physically or with toxic words? This is also a fundamental reason people fall out of love and get a divorce. No one should have to endure any type of abuse.
What Can You Do About It?
We must all accept the fact that people grow, change and so do their feelings. Sometimes, the best thing to do is nothing when you see relationships reach a natural endpoint. In this instance, just move on and hope you find love and it finds you as well.
Relationships can be very well maintained, rejuvenated, and even resuscitated. It takes the efforts of two people to make a relationship work. With commitment and dedication from the two parties involved, there is always a fix.
For emphasis, effective communication is key to maintaining feelings. This ensures that partners’ needs are attended to. Even silence is a form of communication but the best-explored form involves talking.
Communication improves intimacy, another reason why you must never let your partner feel more comfortable communicating with people other than you.
Getting Professional Help
The moment your partner starts falling out of love, you feel the emotional distance from a decline in intimacy and communication.
This may be largely due to your ineffective communication patterns or the aforementioned reasons.
You might have realized that your communication patterns are destructive and ineffective. And you and your partner might have voiced concerns over the state of the relationship in a bid to address an impending divorce.
Seeking professional help like therapy and counselling has saved marriages from divorce and reunited other divorced couples.