Have you recently been betrayed by someone who you thought was your soulmate and wonder if the relationship is over?
Although love is complex, most people understand that it is founded on respect and trust. What occurs though when cheating is introduced into the equation? There are two possible outcomes: either the couple forgives and moves on, or the relationship ends.
When infidelity occurs, the fundamental elements of a good relationship are destroyed. For some, restoring the relationship might be tough or even impossible. Those who have experienced infidelity can attest to the devastation, anxiety, and anger that follow. It also doesn’t help that it can be quite difficult to decide whether to end things. There are significant and frightening choices to be made, especially when you still love your partner. Is love enough though? Should cheating end a relationship or marriage?
What does it mean to cheat?
Simply put, cheating is a breach of trust and loyalty. It is an agonising spectre that lingers for years when experienced. It is to be physically or emotionally unfaithful to a spouse. It could be just flirting or having an intimate relationship with another person. It could be a one-time incident or a habit. It could be based on ego or sheer ignorance. It ranges in severity. Sometimes, it is the outcome of bad decisions. It might also be an unintentional mistake. Regardless, it always harms the relationship and often results in its demise.
Every couple establishes for their relationship what qualifies as cheating. Some examples are:
- Use of pornography
- Visiting a strip club
- Internet cam sex
- Sexting someone else
- Making out with others
- Having dinner with the opposite sex
- Being emotionally attached to another person
- Dancing sexily with someone
While some of these instances might seem absurd to some, they would make sense to others. Therefore, it is up to the parties in the relationship to decide for themselves what actions are prohibited.
Reasons people cheat
Cheating is one of the most upsetting things you may go through in a relationship. Even if you do all things right, your spouse can still cheat on you for reasons unrelated to you. This is why it is essential to learn about the reasons why people cheat.
There are countless explanations for why people cheat but here are four major reasons:
Boredom
Boredom is the root cause of many cases of infidelity. People tend to cheat if they are unable to find excitement in their relationship. They do not feel any physical, emotional, or social thrill while around their partner. In this case, they become bored with the relationship and search for something fresh and exciting. While taking up new interests and hanging out with new people, they find themselves in situations where they betray their spouses.
Sexual dissatisfaction
Different people have different levels of libido. Therefore, the sexual demands of a member of a relationship might not be satisfied. If this occurs, the individual can result in an affair to satisfy their need for sexual satisfaction. For some people, sex addiction is another reason why they cheat. Like other forms of addiction, sex addiction is a severe issue that requires immediate attention. However, cheating is not an appropriate solution.
Neglect
It is good to take some time away from each other and concentrate on your individual passions. Nonetheless, your partner must feel loved. When one does not feel loved in a relationship, one might look for love elsewhere. An individual who feels physically or emotionally abandoned may experience loneliness. This loneliness makes them open to other people’s attention. Consequently, there is an emotional connection, which results in cheating.
Revenge
When one person cheats in a relationship, the other could feel pressured to reciprocate by cheating as well. They believe this form of revenge will help their spouse realize how devastating their actions were. Numerous factors are responsible for this choice. It could be due to the regularity of the infidelity, the causes, or the lack of remorse shown by the cheating partner. In most cases, this never turns out well. The relationship grows more and more toxic that it is best to end it.
Jealousy and Low-Self Esteem
Everyone desires a loving relationship, not rivalry. Some people are not intimidated when their partner becomes more successful, smart, and gorgeous. However, some begin to make comparisons and envy begin to sprout. As a result of this rivalry, resentment takes a place in the relationship. Both parties refuse to realise the importance of each other. Therefore, they start to look out for someone who affirms their strengths and eventually engage in an affair.
Why Cheating Should Not End a Relationship
When trust is broken and hearts are crushed, ending the relationship may seem like the solution to exhaustion, annoyance, and pain. However, putting in some more effort to make the relationship work can be far better than quitting. Although it is a difficult situation, here are five reasons why cheating should not end your relationship:
The Cheating Partner Feels Remorseful
Some individuals feel guilt, remorse, both, or none after being caught cheating. Depending on their personal values, cheaters may or may not feel good about their deeds. When they feel guilt, it means they are merely ashamed of getting caught. Their feelings are what guilt is about. However, remorse is founded on empathy. It shows that the cheater is sincerely aware of the suffering their betrayal has caused. With true remorse, there’ll be a lot of positive changes.
There’s The Willingness to Turn a New Leaf
You should consider continuing your relationship when the cheater takes extraordinary measures to be better. He/she understands and puts in the effort required to mend the broken trust. They do not force you to pretend that everything is alright but take their time slowly to fix things. Your friends and those in your circle are able to tell that he/she has turned a new leaf. Their actions speak for them.
The Kids Need the Very Best
The choices you make can have an impact on you and your children. When parents begin to live separate lives, the kids are forced to function in a brand-new reality. There will be long-term effects on them emotionally, developmentally, academically, psychologically, and financially. Give your children the chance to grow up in a happy home. They need an environment that tells them they have parents who do not quit when things get hard. You and your partner should give your relationship a serious thought. Think about making it work for the kids.
There’s The Willingness to Attend to the Insecurities of the Partner
It is easy to feel insecure after experiencing hurt and betrayal. It can be uncomfortable, making it challenging to keep the relationship. However, rather than ending the relationship, discuss with your partner about your insecurities. Be open about your feelings and figure out methods of tackling them. You could try journalling or therapy. You may also surround yourself with positive people and friends who encourage you. When you are willing to work on your insecurities, you can create a stronger relationship.
The Negative Effect on A Big Vision
Ending a relationship can be emotionally painful. All the dreams and expectations had before the marriage may come to their demise. It hurts to be cut off from the person one assumed would hold their hands when old and weak. Additionally, it destroys one’s financial stability. There used to be two persons supporting one household, it becomes just you and your expenses with no support from your spouse. Rebuilding your life and managing your finance becomes more difficult, putting a slowdown on your dreams and aspirations. New relationships are common attempts to minimise the agony, but these don’t solve the problem.
Cultural beliefs
Separation is viewed negatively across many cultures. Couples involved in separation are often ridiculed and accused of not working hard enough to make their relationship work. It is believed that marriage responsibilities necessitate making personal sacrifices. Compromise is a requirement for a healthy marriage. Couples are not expected to give up so easily. When partners strive to look at the larger picture and how things can be better, it can be quite beneficial.
Societal Status
When either or both parties in a relationship occupy a prominent position in society, they are often under intensely concentrated scrutiny. The relationship is usually harder than expected. There is the idea that everything should be perfect. Many people are looking up to this relationship. Failure gives mockers the license to make a mockery and dashes the hopes of others counting on the relationship. Therefore, it is better to have a candid discussion about how to make improvements.
Conclusion
A relationship or marriage does not necessarily have to end because of infidelity. It is possible to reconcile if you still love your partner. You may give it some time and make efforts to make things work. You should also consider the following:
- Take some time to think
- Both parties must be completely honest
- Ensure there is sincere remorse
- Rebuild trust
- Consider therapy
Of course, it won’t be simple but it is possible.
