We all think we have some understanding of what lust is. Yet, a lot of people confuse lust for love or love for lust. Are you in love? Or are you in lust? These feelings come with peculiar signs. If you pay attention, you will genuinely understand your emotions when you come across that man or woman and know if you’re in Lust and Love or if it’s just lust or love.
Lust is natural for people who do not guard their hearts and it can become a bad habit if it is not watched. Although love can fade over time, you do not want to just increase your body count with anyone. If you want an enduring relationship, it is better with someone you’re in love with. Before we explore the characteristics of lust and love, let’s see the difference first.
Lust
Lust is the desire to mate with any appropriate partner. Lust benefits the person in lust and it is mostly short-lived. Whether we like it or not, we are made to procreate. So, there’s the part of our brain or body that makes us always ready to make babies. Once a human hits puberty age, those things like hormones and testosterones start acting up even without being provoked.
This becomes part of us and forms a craving to mate with the other gender. Lust is not
necessarily bad, but it is often bad. The lust part of humans is always only thinking about
pleasure and not relationships. When you talk about lust, it has nothing to do with relationships. You want your physical, and emotional needs met temporarily and it can be with just anybody.
Love
The word love is used to refer to different kinds of emotions. However, in terms of relationships, true love has three components: Intimacy, Passion and Commitment. The component of passion can also exist in a lustful kind of relationship because passion is about having a strong feeling.
Therefore, there can be lust in a relationship where love abounds as well. However, the craving for pleasure doesn’t just come and go, it is always there. A person in love will be transparent, vulnerable and open to his/her partner. And when all of these are present, there will be trust.
How To Know The Difference Between Lust And Love:
Signs of Lust
1. Obsessive Thoughts
One of the common characteristics of lust is obsessive thoughts. You will always imagine vain things, vain moments and scenarios. You may go through the social media pages of the one you are lusting after in an attempt to satisfy your lust.
2. You Crave their physical presence
Even while you are stalking them on social media, you will want to feel the warmth of their
embrace and see them always. In the instance where you are unable to have sex with them, their presence will leave your heart racing. Does this feel familiar? Then, you are in lust.
3. You will easily overlook their wrongs
We are all wired with flaws but in terms of lust, you tend to easily overlook their shortcomings. During the time that you are in lust, you tend to become blind to faults and flaws.
4. You don’t care about their feelings
It won’t matter to you if they have a bad day or not because you’re not really after their
well-being. You will hardly reply to their messages that have nothing to do with your connection to them. All you will want is a conversation that concerns the satisfaction of your cravings.
5. You don’t feel accepted
If it is a lustful feeling, you will not let the person know you in depth. You will only tell them
what you want them to hear, and so they will see you in the light that you portray yourself.
6. You act like a predator
For lust, you will not try to build a relationship, all you want to do is conquer the person and feed your desire. It won’t matter to you if you are doing so at the expense of the other person’s happiness or well-being. And when you get what you want, you may just disappear from their lives completely.
7. You are all about having sex with them
Lust is about sexual craving. You may not have sex with them but you will always want to get down with them. In most cases, you have sex with them in your imagination all the time.
Signs of Love
1. Your thoughts are affectionate
The thought of the one you love warms your heart and can make you smile. This is because your actions and intentions towards the person are only pure and true.
2. It is us before self
Love is not selfish. Unlike lust, love puts the other person first. For example, if your partner is transferred to work in another city, you may quit your own job just to be with them and for you two to be happy. You will not be about self, the other person’s growth, peace and happiness will matter to you too.
3. You Give
One of the signs of love is generosity. If you are in love with someone, you will give them your time, money, body and all whatnot. Pay attention, anyone who claims to love you and doesn’t give you material or immaterial things must be questioned. Love thrives on generosity because love is kind.
4. Patience
Love is patient. Chances are that there will issue in your relationship but the one in love will be patient to work out whatever challenges they have. You will take your time to build the kind of love you desire and not just give up.
5. You accept them with their flaws
We are all built with one character flaw or the other. No matter how weird they tend to become, you will just cope with who they are and not call off the relationship because of that. For example, they may have a weird fashion sense but because you’re in love, you will laugh it off whenever they are dressed.
6. You want to build a future with them
For you, it isn’t a game but something that has to do with your future. And because of your
respect and admiration for them, you would want to build a future with them. They may not have figured out their path in life, but you will support them still because you believe in them.
7. You feel accepted
They accept you completely for who and what you are. Even if you are not where they want you to be, they’d still feel comfortable with your being. They will never make you feel less of yourself regardless of what you do. This is one of the reasons lust and love are different.
Can Lust Become Love?
Having lust does not guarantee a great relationship, but relationship experts believe that it can lead to love.
“Lust is frequent in romantic relationships and can occasionally turn into love. However, the
presence of lust says little about a couple’s compatibility in the long run,” according to Neidich. He argues that the blinding nature of lust makes it difficult for couples to assess if a sexual partner is suitable for a long-term relationship, and causes them to overlook possible “red flags” such as dishonesty or selfishness.
Depending on Stockwell’s opinion, your relationship may be based solely on lust. Everything else is boring since you spend most of your time being physically intimate with one another. Other than in the bedroom, they have little interest in getting to know you. They don’t want to think about the future. It often seems like your values are in conflict. Even though lust and love are quite different, lust can lead to love.
Conclusion
Determine if your relationship is more than just sexual by distinguishing between hormone-
driven lust and genuine love. There’s absolutely no advantage in lusting after someone other than temporal gratification. It is more beneficial to love truly and be loved. If you find yourself developing the habit of lusting after people, you can also train yourself to guard your heart against lust and focus only on love. Lust and Love are quite different and I’m sure you know better about your feelings for that man or woman.
