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Is It Possible To Be In Love With Two People At The Same Time? What Experts Say


A lot of people have asked, “Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time”? This is tricky and there’s a huge chance that you will break hearts. You can genuinely be in love with your partner and still cheat on them. No, we are not talking about cheating but truly being in love with two people to extent of being willing to be in a relationship with the two of them at the same time.

There’s the story of a man who always says “he’s not a one woman’s man”. He’s in a long-term relationship with the one he loves and does not want to cheat on. At the same time, while he loves her, she no longer stimulates him emotionally or psychologically. Although he has stayed faithful he finds himself admiring and lusting after other women.

He says he could easily be with another woman because of the stimulation he gets but that he still loves his partner. This man was advised to leave his beloved partner, he says he’s still in love but knows he can love someone else at that point. He looks greedy, right? And there are several similar stories of people of the two genders who are in love but falling in love with someone else.

Let me ask you, have you ever found yourself falling in love with someone else when you are already committed to your partner? If your answer is in the affirmative, you are not alone. It will crush you or your partner if they are at the receiving end because it is morally unethical. Being in love with two people at the same time is similar to being in love with one person. Let’s look at what love is.

What is Love?

Love is an emotion or feeling that can be experienced at any time and towards multiple people when the conditions permit.

You may find someone really attractive and fall in love with them but suddenly, you find another person equally appealing having ticked some of your requirements. For most people, love is not the issue, commitment, honesty, sacrifice, discipline and harmony are the issues. It is ridiculous to think you cannot be in love with two people at the same time. Some have argued but the fact that a few people have experienced this means it is possible with humans.

If you’re in love with two people, you already violated your commitment to your current partner. You engendered your love by engaging with someone of your preferred sex, recognized the attraction at some point but continued to develop intimacy and let that blossom into love. Attraction cannot be avoided…falling in love (real love, not lust) can be! Honour your partner and their feelings.

How to Know You Are in Love with Two People

Accurate analysis of the concept of attraction can be tricky. So let us explain what happens when you are attracted to several persons at once.

1.    You Are Experiencing Daydreams

Every day, we all have the propensity to daydream about the person we are in love with. It is
entirely normal. However, if your thoughts are constantly switching between two people, or even more, rather than that one person, check yourself. In this scenario, you are conflicted. Look
within and keep a watch on your thoughts as they roam.

2.    You Become Anxious When you Want to Become Serious

When someone is clearly focused exclusively on you and begins to discuss the future, it will feel completely strange. If you have not put yourself totally in that person, you do not want to take things further. Even though you are supposed to be deeply in love with this person, you will feel anxious and uneasy when they give you all their attention.

3.    You Won’t Know What Kind of Person You Really Want

It is perplexing to have strong feelings for two persons who are diametrically opposed to one another. You can start to wonder whose qualities you are drawn to and which ones you are merely putting up with in favour of other qualities.

4.    You’ll Likely Experience Guilt

Regardless of which partner you are with, you will feel bad about the one you aren’t with.
Because the other person constantly creeps into the walls of your mind, it makes you feel
terrible. Furthermore, you will feel guilty for having these feelings. It never feels right.

5.    You Fall a Victim of the Classic Sex Mix-Ups

In the rush of the moment, it is easy to find yourself thinking of one person while having sex with the other. You might even spew out the other person’s name. Awkward, yeah? Yea, it is advisable to avoid the latter by all means. It is a disaster.

6.    When Something Significant Occurs, You Are Not Sure Who to Contact

There is a reflexive urge to phone your number one person whenever there are significant
occurrences. It could be about getting a new job, losing your pet, or learning about the upcoming season of your favourite TV show. When you can not determine who to approach first with the news, something is not right.

Having two persons in mind makes you feel bad when there is one you call more frequently than the other in cases like this. Inner conflict comes to play.

7.    You May Have Trouble with Your First Relationship Because You Miss the Other Person

Cheating is birthed from this way of thinking, when you fall in love with someone else, you
always want them around. As a result, you are never content with your current partner.

8.    You Basically have “That Feeling”

When you are in love, you can tell. The same goes for when you are in lust, like, or something related. There is that emotion and you just know it. Even if you are already in a relationship, that lingering feeling remains and you will recognise it.

Disadvantages of Being in Love with Two People at The Same Time

It is a free world. There is no manual for living, no handbook for loving. Love is a strong
emotion that has been embedded in us since creation. Regardless, there are some difficult and unresolvable emotions you will not be able to manage when in love with two persons at once.

Let us explore a few of these downsides:

1.    You Lose Sight of What You Want

It is going to be tough to be focused on what and who you want when you are in love with
multiple people simultaneously. You may experience a fleeting high from being around each
person, and lose sight of what actually makes you happy. You will continuously be drawn to
only random connections, rather than seeking a soulful, profound connection.

2.    You are Lonely

Even with a companion lying next to you, it is possible to feel lonely. If you are splitting your emotional cake among two people, it is difficult to get intimate. You will keep looking for anything to fill the big emotional hole in your life. This is because you are in love with several people at once and you have transient attachments.

3.    You Fail to Consider the Effects of Your Actions

Of course, you should apologise and take responsibility for your actions when you cross the line. But what happens in a situation where when you cross a line neither you nor your partner may even have been aware of?

Even with the best of intentions, things can still go wrong. Someone can get hurt. When you are drawn to two people at the same time, you might wish to act on your feelings. You desire to explore these emotions. In the end, you ultimately cause someone else pain by having an affair or turning down someone in favour of the other.

4.    You are in a Pit of Problems

You should, at least in theory, be completely devoted to one person when you fall in love. With someone new in the picture, you will fall in love and they’ll become your other spouse. Then, it is expected of you to give your current partner and relationship all of your love and attention. Your primary goal becomes to maintain healthy relationships with your partners and make them feel valued.

Any kind of love triangle scenario is tough. It is natural to get carried away with your love. You could even possess the emotional capability to love two people. But with work, friends, hobbies, etc., you have too much going on already to be actively involved in many relationships. Even with the best reminder app and calendar, it will be a challenge to create enough time for your partners. There is no genuine solution to having more than 24 hours a day.

5.    You Experience Judgments

The majority of people in Western nations prefer to be in relationships with just one individual at a time. Having multiple partners may appear wrong in a community where monogamy exists as the standard. In this case, you may be subjected to discrimination. Facing discrimination is known to have a negative impact on general well-being.

Love is Sweeter When You are Exclusive

Being in a long-term commitment with one partner is no longer common. Marriage is becoming decreasingly popular. Divorce is on the rise. Nonetheless, if you covet a relationship that is truly passionate, it might be best to concentrate on just one person.

Before your partner’s flaws push you to insanity and you begin taking your imaginations about your sexy, young co-worker a little more seriously, here are ten reasons why you should keep fighting the good fight and remain committed to your one and only.

1.    Less Stress

An intimate relationship is associated with lower levels of the stress hormone, cortisol. This
implies that persons who are coupled are less sensitive to psychological stress. Having a
companion can act as a powerful stress-reduction tool due to the emotional and social support it provides.

There is even proof that living together makes people happier than those who don’t. Even if
they’re not physically present, having the knowledge that someone cares about you and is there for you is beneficial for your mental health.

2.    Reduced Risk of Depression

Have you noticed the characteristics of someone who is on the verge of entering a depressive episode? Withdrawal, a sense of isolation, and the conviction that no one will understand them are a few of the signs you would observe.

However, the likelihood of developing depression is significantly reduced if you have that
particular person in your life that you love and trust. First, if you are having a hard time, you can always phone them or chat with them. Also, you can be more honest with them because of the kind of connection and communication you share with them. You have someone you can confide in.

3.    Greater Sense of Purpose

It is believed that having a purpose can lengthen your life by several years. Any form of
purposeful relationship can help a person fulfilled. You are aware that your significant other
counts on you. There are issues you both agree on. There are levels of expectation you have to meet to maintain a healthy relationship. As a result, you develop into a more mindful person. You keep working towards being the best version of yourself and your partner.

4.    An Opportunity to be Caring

It is common for people to want to feel as though they are making the world a better place by helping others in some little way. Naturally, when you are in a committed relationship, you want your partner to be happy. There are plenty of chances to offer support to them when they are struggling. You get to join them in their joyous moments as well. Giving yourself in this way can help you relax and relieve tension. It is indirectly a gift to yourself.

5.    Emotional Support

You could encounter emotional ups and downs in a relationship. Having your lover by your side, holding your hand through everything, makes it worthwhile. You would enjoy this in a
committed relationship. You tell your partner good news as soon as you receive them. And when things go south, your lover cuddles you, assuring you that everything will be good.

Relationship partners who support one another emotionally work as a team to overcome the challenges life presents. In an intimate relationship, there is a secure space where you are open without worrying that you could be judged. You constantly have a shoulder to lean on when needed.

6.    Understanding

This point makes more sense to you if you frequently deal with misunderstandings from people in your immediate surroundings. Knowing you have a support system that gets you is another level gratifying. You can trust this individual to be beside you even when you mess up.

When you have a serious relationship, you can be sure that there is at least one person who appreciates you for what you are. They care about your development and gave a thorough understanding of you. The peace of mind that comes with this is relieving and might help you feel better mentally.

7.    Enhanced Physical Fitness

The encouragement of a special person might give you the push you need to stay on track when it is daunting to be focused on workouts and eating healthfully. Since we want to appear and behave our best for that person, intimate relationships prove to be a blessing for weight loss and good health.

There is nothing that inspires you more to preserve your beauty than a torrent of compliments from your special someone.

8.    Good Heart Health

Your heart is getting good exercise when the simple touch of your lover makes it a race. Just a squeeze brings about loving sensations. Your brain releases adrenaline, noradrenaline, and dopamine. These hormones induce the heart to beat more vigorously and rapidly.

9.    Safety

No matter how much you love each other, a relationship will not last I you do not feel safe in it. Being protected is an essential part of a committed relationship you do not want to miss out on.

10.  Quality Time

What happens when two individuals transition from being outsiders to becoming inseparable? The simple answer is that they prioritise their relationship and enjoy spending quality time together.

Spending time together will help you get to know your partner and their personality better. It can also help you communicate better. It builds friendship and trusts between you two.


It is complicated to be in love with two people simultaneously. Bringing a third party (or more) into your relationship can be a hindrance to your emotional connection. The intimacy in your relationship fades away. Attempting to bring a balance and maintain two relationships will only bring about a rift between you and your partners. There are more emotions to control. Moreover, if you and those involved are not on the same page, jealousy, possessiveness, and lack of trust can become serious problems.

Nevertheless, every relationship has both benefits and drawbacks. Take into account these, in order to identify which style works for you.


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