Moving on and attaining closure from heartbreak is quite tricky especially if you truly loved someone. Heartbreak is painful and agonizing but no matter the pain inflicted, you will feel better with time. Some people get over heartbreaks in a short period while others find it hard to move on. In fact, there are people who jump into another relationship thinking they have gotten closure but that’s not the case. They miss their exes, talk about their exes and even try to keep in touch but there’s the “how to overcome heartbreak” that works.
A relationship that doesn’t turn out well means you were not meant for each other. While grieving over a failed relationship, believe that there’s someone for you. And if you’re unable to move on, you can seek help.
So, we have put together some tips that can help you to get over someone you love deeply.
There is no time limit
Getting over someone depends on the individual. I mean, there is no specific time within which people get over heartbreaks. Some people take a very short time to get closure while others take long periods. However, do not run away from the pain of heartbreak. You should allow yourself to feel the pain, that’s the only way you can heal from it.
Some people jump into another relationship in a bid to get over the pain of heartbreak but you shouldn’t start a new relationship if you’re still broken. If you have not gotten over a failed relationship, it will expose your insecurities and vulnerability in the new relationship. Closure opens you up to a new chapter. You must know that you can do without anybody in life no matter how close you were to them. Time is the healer of all wounds. The most important thing is this, stay single until you allow yourself to feel the pain of heartbreak and get closure.
Remove your Ex from social media and your phone
Losing sight of your ex is a practical step to getting closure. Do not allow yourself to see anything that can remind you of your ex, at least for the period you are still in pain. Social media keeps you in touch and connected. If you get to see the picture or anything concerning your ex, it will bring back memories, pain and regrets. Imagine that you log in to one of your social media pages and you see your ex getting married shortly after a breakup. It will be agonizing right? This is one of the reasons why you should avoid anything that will make them cross your mind. You can mute them or block them until you have gotten closure. We are not asking that you become enemies with your exes but for the period that you grief, ensure that they are out of your sight.
Write down how you feel
This is also known as paper therapy. Writing is a therapeutic way of dealing with heartbreak. When you write, you ease off the burden from your mind. So, if you’re heartbroken, get a journal and write about how your feel. Writing your pain on a piece of paper feels like you’re transferring your burden to the paper. Some therapists recommend that after pouring out your heart on the paper, discard it. Writing allows you to gain a better perspective as to where you are with your healing. The action of discarding your written down emotions means you’re ready to enter a new phase. You can include the negative traits of the ex in your writing. This will leave you with a good feeling and don’t forget to add what you gained by letting go of your ex.
Don’t hold on to anger and blame
It takes a lot of energy to be angry and blaming anybody including yourself can be quite meaningless. To move on, you must learn to forgive and absorb yourself and your ex of any blames. Just see a broken relationship as one that didn’t work out. To be able to move on, do not blame your ex for your relationship misfortune. When you blame them, you are indirectly giving them power. The anger and rage you feel should be written on paper and discarded as we mentioned earlier. For you to eliminate all of these feelings from your mind, you must try to forget them instead of dwelling on them in anger. If it wasn’t meant to be, there’s hardly anything you could do to make it work out.
Remember there isn’t just one person out there for you
Some people are fortunate to meet the love of their lives in their first relationship. Others go through a string of relationships to meet the one for them. So, it suffices to say there’s that person for you. If you’re heartbroken, it simply means, your ex isn’t meant for you. There are several quality people in the world. No matter how wealthy, romantic, beautiful, resourceful or loving your partner is, there’s someone out there better than he/she. You should strive to work on yourself so that you do not repeat the same mistake that broke your relationship.
Let yourself feel your emotions
Sometimes, you connect deeply with people to the extent that they feel like your soulmate. And if your relationship with them doesn’t work out, you feel a rush of negative emotions. You feel a rush of these negative emotions like crying and so on. Experiencing these emotions opens you to healing and it relieves you of some piled-up emotions. The reason why some people get depressed is that they don’t allow themselves to feel their emotions. They do everything to cover up their feeling. They put up a fake smile whereas they are really grieving. Nothing is permanent. It might take some time but if you allow yourself to feel your emotions, you’d be better for it.
Remember to love yourself
Most people tend to forget themselves when they are in love. They put the happiness of their partners first and even when they become single, they still don’t pay attention to themselves. You must learn to love yourself the way you are. God made you unique and you are good enough. Ensure you see yourself in a positive light. How you see yourself matters a lot. Take yourself out, go to the spa for a treat, and if possible, go on a trip to a place that you have never been before. Tell yourself that you deserve the best things in the world and give yourself the things that you can afford. You cannot give out what you don’t have. Therefore, you must learn to love yourself to be able to love others rightly. Loving yourself entails a whole lot of things but above all, seeing yourself as deserving of all the good things of life.
Turn your energy into something positive
People who are heartbroken are unhappy and exhibit low levels of energy. You may just be frustrated with them while trying to make them feel good. Instead of dwelling on what you cannot change, why not focus on what you can change? Channel your energy into something more meaningful like reading books, going to the cinema and other activities that can be distracting. Go out, make new friends. Seek to make a positive impact in your community. Above all, strive to improve yourself. If there are goals, you’re struggling with, ensure you do everything to achieve the goals. When you channel your energy into something positive, you will experience growth.
Don’t torture yourself
Most people tend to blame themselves for a failed relationship. They believe the relationship would have worked if they did better. You must avoid this line of thought if you want to get over your ex. Of course, some relationships fail because one person didn’t live up to expectations. But there are relationships that also fail even when the people involved gave their all. Sometimes, you don’t have control over these things, so why feel bad about a failed relationship. Avoid blaming yourself for the negative outcome of your relationship.
You will see the light at the end of the tunnel
Some people who are heartbroken come off with lines like ‘I will never be committed again”, “I cannot love truly again” and so on. You’ve got to be positive about your life in general. Remember, you will find love again. A love more peaceful, productive, kind and enduring than the previous. Your mindset is important if you must move on. If you believe you will move on, it will be easier for you to do so and conversely.
Love is beautiful. There are several love stories but a lot of them do not have a fairy tale ending. If you are heartbroken, cry all you want but also do all you can to get out of that condition. My advice is, do not jump into another relationship if you’re not completely healed, else you will be exhibiting toxicity. There is no true method of moving on but do whatever works for you and stop dwelling on your past.