Ever noticed how there is so much creativity when it comes to attracting a significant other? Have you also observed that attraction fades gradually as people get to know themselves? This gives credence to the saying that familiarity breeds contempt. When romance and spontaneity wane, what is left of a relationship is everyday routine and it can get boring or worse. The parties in the relationship may start longing for the next romantic spark in their relationship or outside it.
Truth is, you need to know each other to develop intimacy but at the same time, it becomes routine and takes away the fun of learning new things about the other party just like the first time.
Burn-out can be avoided. Romantic sparks can be maintained but it takes work and cultivation of positive habits by both parties. One thing we know about habits is that they are learned through daily practice till they become a part of us.
Here are some daily habits to keep romantic sparks in place years after saying yes to your significant other.
Be Inquisitive About the Things that Interest Them
Asking questions about their day, things that interest them and actually paying attention as they speak can make them feel comfortable around you. You can take it a notch higher by following up on the challenge at work they were trying to fix even before they give you feedback. This will keep them coming back. You can make your relationship a happy place just by practicing the act of showing concern about how their day went by being physically and emotionally present when they speak to you.
Little Gestures of Kindness
Things as little as making a cup of coffee, buying a gift, knotting a tie, planting an unexpected kiss on the forehead, telling them you are proud of them, sending “I just thought of you” messages and other numerous gestures can break down any wall and warm any heart. Remember what we said about familiarity and it begetting boredom? You can make unexpected gestures to wow your significant other, become your daily routine and in turn solve the issue of boredom.
Set new targets every day to try something new. Since you are the one creating the targets, it would not feel like a routine.
Show of Appreciation
Of what use is an appreciation to your partner if you only feel it in your mind? Parties have to be deliberate about communicating how grateful they are for the things their partners do for them. Humans by nature function better when there is a reward for effort and so it is with relationships. Practice habits of gratitude toward your significant other.
Let Them Know You’re Thinking of Them
Imbibe the habit of calling or texting to specifically tell them you are thinking of them. Couples talk all the time during the day but are they unequivocally saying that they are thinking of each other? A message or call like that can calm the nerves on a bad day and increase the secretion of hormones responsible for a good mood.
Have your personality outside of your partner
From friends to hobbies, to interests, have an independent circle of friends and goals. Having individual goals is as important as having couple goals. This way, you won’t feel suffocated in the relationship. When you draw strength from your personal timeout, it becomes easier to pour out into the relationship. For you cannot pour out of an empty cup.
Try New Things Together
There will be a lot to laugh and cry about when you try out new things together. You end up creating memories that stick with you forever. Introverted or extroverted, the two partners must plan and practice the art of trying out new things to spice up their relationship, else they will keep recycling the old things.
Practice Saying Sorry and Mean it
Taking responsibility for actions and apologizing for them is no small feat. Oftentimes, egos collied and obstruct the smooth sail of romance in a relationship. If you must keep the romance alive, the offender must learn to say sorry and mean it. The recipient of the apology must learn to accept it and not make a habit of bringing up the offense.