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How To Get Over A Relationship


Some people are lucky to find the love of their lives at an early stage of their lives while it takes a seemingly long time for others to find who truly and deeply loves them. Whichever category you belong to, chances are that you might have experienced heartbreak for your fault or that of your partner. However, there are proven ways to overcome heartbreak and move on.

It is the prerogative of every individual to go into relationships for reasons that suit them. Though there’s an advocacy for intending partners to study the behavioural pattern of each other before agreeing to formalize their love affair, relationships as such have hit the rocks despite the somewhat understanding created during friendship.

You can conclude that there’s no formula for a successful relationship other than:

  • Sincerity: when one of the partners sets out to deceive the other for personal gain, the relationship cannot work.
  • Sacrifice: There’s no love without sacrifice
  • True love: Love must not be enough but there has to be the feeling of love for a relationship to work.
  • Commitment: Commitment reassures people that they are loved.
  • Communication: Communication is one of the bridges that makes a relationship work.

Where one of the aforementioned factors is missing, the partner at the receiving end is likely going to be heartbroken.

Quite a few people of this generation might have not experienced heartbreak, but I can tell you from experience that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being heartbroken. heartbreak leaves a person stronger than they were because the broken pieces of their heart become a point of illumination.

No one is broken, they are only wide open. Open to love deeper and harder. Although a broken heart hurts badly, it affords you the opportunity to create a deeper connection with yourself and others.

As someone who has gotten closure from heartbreak, let me walk you through six ways you can overcome heartbreak.

1. Feel the feelings and don’t force yourself to “just get over it.”

It takes currency of time, patience, and work to overcome the feeling of a broken heart. At that point, you’d hear voices from friends and family asking you to just move on but this would not happen suddenly. If you feel like crying, crying and whatever you do per time that gives you relief, you’re enjoined to do so and not bottle up that painful feeling.

One of the ways to overcome heartbreak is by talking. It is important to talk to a friend or family member about how you feel. This way, you’re offloading a burden that may have been the source of the heaviness that you feel. Every good thing takes time, including the healing process so you must be gentle on yourself and go through the rigours of attaining peace.

2. Get the energy out.

People who are heartbroken are likely to exhibit resentment, anger, hatred, unforgiveness, malice, sadness, revenge, grief, and depression. You cannot feel well if the aforementioned energies are left in your heart. Taking a long walk, playing music, going to the club, and talking to someone are going to help you release the said negative energies from your heart.

3. Forgive.

Forgiveness is the first step of the healing process. You are unlikely going to heal from heartbreak if you inhibit unforgiveness in your heart.

Regardless of the effort and commitment, you put into a relationship, some of them don’t just work out. Instead of beating up yourself for a wrong relationship, forgive yourself and your former partner, or else the hurt will still be there.

If you keep talking about the hurt and the person, it is a sign that you have not healed from the hurt. Forgiveness breaks every chain that is still binding you to the other person. You may want to write a letter of forgiveness, say a prayer or call them to let them know they are forgiven.

 4. Be honest with yourself.

Most people are not true to themselves that’s why they find it difficult to heal and move on. For instance, you see a lot of red flags and you know from your intuition that the relationship will not work out, instead of walking away, you stay back with the hope that things will change, and then you’re hurt.

In another instance, some people fail to move on because they think they have a chance of reuniting with their partners who have told them they are quitting.

People have tendencies to see how rosy the start of the relationship was, we tend to see the initial potential the relationship had, and we also tend to remember how good the sex was. The truth is that nobody in your life is indispensable or irreplaceable.

5. Take back your personal power.

There’s no way you can control what your ex does or does not do. It is best you watch and control your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviour.

See the relationship as a lesson as it was not there to cause you pain alone. It is just a part of your journey to help you grow, learn to let go and learn to love better.

If you aren’t careful after a breakup, you’ll lose some sort of self-control and seek to hurt other people but that should never be the case. So, one of the numerous ways to overcome heartbreak is self-control. Controlling yourself gives you the power to make good decisions and it also saves you from other emotional entanglements.

6. Live an outstanding life.

You are primarily living for yourself until you enter into a formal relationship. Instead of remaining at a stop, why not involve yourself in stuff that helps you grow your career, intellect, or even finances? Buy books, travel, join a reading club and socialize with those around your community.

When you grow, you will attract more quality people into your life and true love will find you.

7. Rebuild your self-esteem

Don’t feel bad because your partner initiated a breakup, it is normal. Ensure you work on your physical appearance and personality. This is because you will attract more quality people into your life if you improve your looks and personality. You also have to do some introspection to find out what is wrong with you in order to become a better person.

If you have great qualities as a person, you will attract quality people into your life.

8. Try new places

There is nothing wrong about being used to specific spots but chances are that you will meet new people in different places. You could try out a different coffee shop, a new cinema, or a new restaurant as a way to help you heal faster. In addition, stay away from places you frequently visit with your ex. says Mary Jo Rapini, a psychotherapist and author of Re-Coupling: A Couple’s 4 Step Guide to Greater Intimacy and Better Sex.

9. Realize you aren’t getting back together

Oftentimes, people fantasize about getting back with their exes after a breakup. Sadly, this does not always happen which means you have to pick up yourself and move on. Even if there’s a chance of getting back with your partner, it’s not always a good idea. Of course, people who put in the work grow but most people don’t change in their character. If they were toxic in the past, chances are that they are still toxic in nature. It is best you get a new partner than go back to an old one.



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