Most of us will experience this feeling at some point in our lives: your heart skips a beat when you see your partner enter the room, and it seems like the time you spend together makes you feel on top of the world. So many people aspire to be in love at some point in their lives (and it can seem like every character in movies, books, and other stories we enjoy is focused around it in one way or another).
Many consider love as the apex of all romantic experiences—or even the apex of all life
experiences.
It can be thrilling, even exhilarating, to fall in love. But over time, these emotions might
transform into something slightly different. This love may appear easygoing or tranquil. Instead of saying, “I’m in love with them,” you might find yourself saying, “I love them.” And if you’re wondering, “What’s the difference?” Keep reading. You will know at the end of this piece.
The Love Psychology
It is more accurate to refer to the spark that characterizes a love-at-first-sight experience as a strong attraction coupled with an openness to a potential romantic connection. Romantic love is more complex and includes behavioural, cognitive, and emotional elements. Additionally, it does not typically occur immediately but develops over time.
Let’s look at what loving someone and being in love with them entails.
What Happens When You’re “In Love With Someone”
Generally speaking, “being in love” refers to the powerful emotions that erupt at the beginning of a relationship.
These consist of the following:
- Both excitement and trepidation
- Lust and sexual attraction
- Infatuation
- Happiness
Here is an example of how these emotions might manifest.
You miss them the moment they leave, no matter the time spent
Despite spending the entire day together, you still feel lonely when your partner leaves. You
ponder their whereabouts and whether they are considering you. Even if you already have a meeting scheduled for the following day, you might be concerned about how you’ll get by until then.
This frequently occurs when you’re in love. And even though it’s undoubtedly beneficial to spend some time apart, that doesn’t mean you enjoy doing so.
The agonizing bliss of being in love is most likely what you’re experiencing if you can’t stop
thinking about them even when you’re apart.
You consistently find time for them
Usually, when you fall in love with someone, you want to be with them all the time. So you
probably rearrange your schedule to see your partner, even if you’re busy.
This might also entail an interest in learning more about them by investigating their interests. They’ll likely feel the same way about you and want to spend just as much time getting to know your interests if there is mutual love.
P.S. Try not to forget your friends, though.
The sex is great
Sex need not be a component of a romantic partnership. But when it is, it can significantly
contribute to falling in love.
Your sex drive may be impacted by the potency of the hormones involved, increasing your desire for your partner and the enthusiasm you feel during sex. When you first fall in love, having sex with your partner can help you become closer to them. Good sex can make you feel good about yourself and want to continue having it. It usually doesn’t hurt to want to explore each other’s sexual preferences.
They hit all the right spots and hormones
Even though it doesn’t seem like it, falling in love involves some science. Many hormones are released when you fall in love, which can intensify and greatly fluctuate your emotions.
Dopamine and norepinephrine levels rise when you’re with the person you love, which causes feelings of
- Pleasure
- Giddiness
- Anxiously enthusiastic
- Euphoria
Low serotonin levels can intensify feelings of infatuation. Sex hormones like testosterone and estrogen, which increase libido and cause feelings of lust, also contribute. Other important hormones, like oxytocin and vasopressin, strengthen your attraction by
encouraging long-term attachment traits like trust and empathy.
What Happens When You “Love Someone”
Love can take on many different guises and evolve. These are a few examples of how your
emotions can shift even though you still care about your partner.
You don’t feel the need to keep your opinions to yourself
Adopting someone else’s viewpoints as your own when you’re in love is simple. You might not always be fully aware of this.
With a partner you adore and are at ease with, it might be simpler for you to talk openly about your feelings. Love frequently exudes a sense of security, so you might not need to keep your thoughts or feelings to yourself to keep the relationship safe.
You are confident that you can resolve any issues, no matter how minor.
It might take more work to be intimate
You most likely engaged in continuous sexual activity when you were madly in love with your partner. You still have sex as your relationship settles down, albeit less frequently or intensely. It may feel like you’ve lost something the first time you go to sleep without having sex or spending the night alone. You might even fear that the connection is deteriorating.
However, this usually means scheduling time with your partner has become necessary due to life’s demands. Therefore, even though you may not engage in sexual activity frequently, your effort to develop a close relationship can enhance those occasions.
You feel secure in their love
When you first fall in love, you might have an idealized view of your partner and yourself.
For instance, you might always make an effort to look your best. Or perhaps you try to conceal any flaws you think your partner might find objectionable.
However, as your relationship strengthens, you might feel more at ease being who you are. You shouldn’t worry that they will dump you if you forget to take out the trash or leave dishes in the sink. You acknowledge that morning breath will always be present for both of you.
That doesn’t mean you don’t work to keep this affection and make it grow, though. It simply means you’ve switched from idealized versions of each other to a realistic perspective.
Does One Top The Other?
You may no longer be in love with your partner, even though you are aware that you do.
That’s acceptable. You might even feel slightly relieved to learn that your hormones have
subsided.
Some people favour romance’s exhilaration. Others favour the close, intense connection that comes with long-term relationships. For precisely this reason, many people strive for committed relationships.
Although one may seem preferable to the other, depending on what you want from a
relationship, both can lead to healthy relationships.
In Conclusion
When you’re in love, you want to be with them. You need the person as much as you want them in your life. You want to give this person a piece of you because you need them to live happily and not because you own them.
When you love someone, you need them. And sometimes, the only way to truly love someone is (as it’s popularly said) to let them go and set them free.
