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Can You Love Someone and Not Trust Them?


“A relationship without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it all you want, but it won’t go anywhere.”

Is it possible to love someone yet not be able to trust them? According to a recent poll, half of all first-time marriages dissolve in divorce. These divorce statistics provide additional insight into the reasons for the rapid breakdown of relationships and marriages in the US. Is there more to this? Absolutely! Most people settle for the love they think they deserve which is wrong. So yes, you “can” love someone and still not trust them.

In actuality, modern relationships are characterised by an abundance of affection but a lack of trust, which is understandable yet irrational. The true relationship between trust and love, the likelihood of a relationship enduring in the absence of trust as well as how to rekindle trust will be extensively discussed in this article.

The Value of Trust In A Relationship

Can You Love Someone and Not Trust Them?
Can You Love Someone and Not Trust Them?

An essential component of any successful and long-lasting relationship is trust. It gives partners the security and self-assurance in their relationship by providing the cornerstone around which relationship intimacy and dedication are constructed. Having trust around strengthens bonds between individuals in relationships by enabling them to coexist in an emotionally and mentally secured space.

It’s possible to fall deeply in love with a spouse based solely on their cooking abilities, musical taste, or personality, but these superficial qualities are not what support a relationship from beginning to end up. With out trust, the relationship wouldn’t stand the test of time.

Relationships that lack trust frequently become unstable, leading to psychological turmoil and discontent. Trust is having assurance regarding your partner’s honesty, moral character, dependability, and ability to support you in times of need.

Reasons For Lack of Trust

In a romantic relationship, you may not be able to reach your full potential as a couple if you or your partner struggles with trust. As you get to know and fall in love with someone, building a strong foundation for a connection requires trust. Here are a few things that could be a trust barrier:

Childhood traumas

Growing up with feelings of insecurity or unease shapes one’s perspective on trust. In general, your upbringing has a big impact on how you act and relate to other people. These days, people who find it difficult to open up to or trust people tend to reflect a glare of their traumas.

Fear of being Vulnerable

When you have all of your walls up, how can you build trust with someone you love? Your fear of vulnerability could be a barrier to the imminent lack of trust in your relationship that is if you’re the type of person who gets uncomfortable or scared of criticism.

You have to realise that it’s okay to rely on your partner for mental and emotional support. Finding your own self is what a partnership is really all about.

Absence of Reliability

A partner not upholding their words or actions could lead to a lack of trustworthiness in a relationship. There is no single way trust can be built when there is a lack of reliability. Studies says that people who tend to be reliable are most likely trusted than those who aren’t. At the same time, as the significant other, endeavour to be reliable as well. Reliability isn’t a one-way street to trust.


When you stop to think about it, how can someone trust a partner who cheats? It sounds as ridiculous as it is. When you or your partner cheats, it causes tension and casts doubt on the relationship as a whole. Cheating makes you rethink everything you’ve ever been told throughout the relationship. You may even start to question how long they have been keeping you in the dark. While some people may ignore cheating, this isn’t the case for everyone. See our earlier post to learn why.

How to Rebuild Trust In a Relationship

Can You Love Someone and Not Trust Them?
Can You Love Someone and Not Trust Them?

The possibilities of restoring trust in a relationship even after a deceitful act is a lot feasible than you imagined. Apparently, doing so requires you consistently choosing to stay in the relationship. Your actions have to be much louder than your words. If you are willing to put in the necessary effort, trust can be actualized. We have coupled up a few tips from us on how to rekindle trust in a relationship:

  • Accept full accountability for your deeds. Avoiding the problem or attempting to place the responsibility elsewhere will do no good.
  • It’s okay to take things slow, allow them to trust fall in place in its own pace.
  • Render yourself vulnerable, share with them moments or secrets that you wouldn’t randomly let out.
  • Learn to leave out bricks of your past relationships or traumas. They only make you project how you feel towards something that didn’t even happen.
  • Respect Boundaries. It sends a signal of confidentiality and understanding to your partner, enabling them to trust you.
  • Communicate more often. Tell them how you feel, let them on about your day. Frequent communication triggers a sense of trust in a relationship.
  • Train yourself on emotional intelligence. It beams so much value in a relationship.
  • Show your partner your loyalty and honesty. There is no need for deception or lying.

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