Ever wondered why no one seems to stick around despite your good intentions? You know
you’re a good person (yes, with flaws like every other human), yet your heart always gets broken when you get into a relationship. Sounds familiar, right? You should read this. Brace yourself; you might feel a little sting.
Breakups can happen for whatever reason. Sometimes, self-sabotaging behaviours might be why your relationship doesn’t last. However, there are inborn factors that can turn off potential forevers’. If it happens one too many times, chances are you are the problem. So, if you’re wondering, “How?!”
Here are 9 Possible Reasons Why You Can’t Make Your Relationships Last
1. You’re too Clingy
Don’t get it twisted; there is nothing wrong with being clingy in a relationship. But being too clingy can be a turn-off for some people, especially when they are not in the mood. It might feel romantic to want to be with your partner all the time, but you might just be pushing them away. Are they okay with it? Is that their love language too? It is better to understand if they want a clingy partner or not. If they don’t and they’re worth it, work on it and give them the space they desire.
Being too clingy can lead to breakups if not checked. Everyone wants to feel independent, and if they perceive that they have no space, they’d surely consider the option of quitting.
2. You trust easily and ignore red flags
Trust is fundamental in romance, but it should be earned. Do well to respect your instinct,
especially when you notice things you don’t like. For example, your partner verbally and
physically abuses you, but you feel they would change because they apologize and promise
always to make amends.
Do not be blind to potential dangers. The moment you observe what you think you cannot
condone is the moment you should quit the relationship. Often, we choose short time pleasure at the expense of a lifetime romance.
3. Being emotional about your future
Regardless of their career state, financial capability, or the goal of their partners, most people ignore their dreams because they are in love. They base their future on their love life instead of their dreams and vision. This is a recipe for heartbreak.
You will likely go through endless circles if you do not care about your future or self first. So watch out for yourself before anything or anyone. Your future is for the long term, and you cannot base your decisions on just emotions when you have a destiny to fulfil.
4. Who Are Your Relationship Models?
We all think and believe we are mature and reasonable enough to handle all of our life’s issues, but the reality is that we all need guardians or influence.
Having relationship role models is not out of place, but the couple you choose or those you look up to for advice can affect your actions or inactions towards your partner. If you surround yourself with examples of excellent healthy relationships, it will be difficult for
you to go for an unhealthy relationship. What you see and hear will affect your choices in the long term.
Do not assume that you do not need an external influence to lead a better life. You do! But look for positive influences in all aspects of your life, and your relationship will follow suit.
5. You confuse your true desires with wishful thinking
Due to this, one can move from experiencing no pleasure to anticipating experiencing pleasure (or pain). You can start to mix up your sincere desires with your need to act on your fantasies about an imagined pleasure. Any knowledge of worries is dismissed in believing everything will turn out well.
This is another recipe for heartbreak.
6. You do not know your values
What are your values? If you cannot answer this question, you do not know what you want and may not know what you want from a potential lover.
Your values are important. Things like religion, career, sport, finance, family, and so on help you form your principles. And your principles will attract those that are like-minded to you.
If you get into a relationship without considering if your value is in sync with your potential
partner, you could end up heartbroken. There will always be disagreements if you are in a
relationship with someone who has different values from yours.
7. You’re not willing to enforce your boundaries
Every healthy relationship thrives on healthy boundaries set by the parties involved. For
example, if you do not want to be verbally abused, state it and quit the relationship if it happens. Even if it is not convenient for you, you should set boundaries that will make people learn to treat you better.
You will be pushed to the deep end if you do not set and enforce healthy boundaries. Therefore, it is better to set your limits at the start of the relationship so that your potential partner will know if they should stay back or move on.
8. You Can’t Say No
If you cannot say no to want you do not want, don’t expect to be happy because you will not get what you want. For instance, do you try to satisfy the sexual desire of your partner even when you are not in the mood?
Yes, relationships thrive on compromises but not to the detriment of the other person’s
happiness. You do not always have to compromise on what you consider a relationship deal-breakers; else, you will become unhappy and lose the peace you over-compromised for totally.