Most people get into a relationship with those they have feelings for but questions like does he/she truly loves me? have arisen during such affairs. These questions are often consequences of actions or inactions by one of the parties involved in the relationship.
Yes, You can truly be in love with someone but display your affection wrongly. Loving your partner the right way guarantees happiness, peace and longevity of the relationship. This is why you should understand the “love language” of your partner, so you can treat them exactly how they want.
Below are some ways to love that are wrong:
Loving someone more than self
Some people act as though they cannot live without their partners. It is quite possible to have intense feelings for your partner but truth is, you can do without them if the relationship doesn’t work out. You can display vulnerability and respect for them but ensure you do not lose yourself in doing that.
Every relationship should be built on a give-and-take basis. So if you are always on the giving end and your partner isn’t reciprocating, then you’re not loving the right way. Two people cannot love equally but it should not be too obvious from one end.
Of course, you shouldn’t just quit a relationship for this reason. Your partner may be a passive lover, so communicate with them to see if they can be better and love you more.
Being judgemental
Do you always criticise the actions and inactions of your partner? For most people, this is seen as a toxic trait. If you judge your partner for the things they tell you or left out, they’d gradually drift away from you. You may find them confiding in people who do not judge them.
For example, if your partner returns home late from work twice a week, do you believe it is all about work or accuse them of infidelity? Most people are comfortable with people who do not judge them. Being judgemental is not the right way to love.
Being too available
Spending quality time is a love language for most people but too much of it can turn out to be bad for some people. Sometimes, allow your partner to miss you by being busy and doing stuff on your own.
You might be taken for granted if you’re at the beck and call of your partner. Even if you are jobless or live in close proximity, deliberately being scarce is going to have a possible effect on your affairs.
However, you should not be scarce in times when your partner is sick or needs urgent attention.
Believing your opinion is inferior
Some people say yes to all decisions and opinions of their partners simply because they are afraid to lose. A relationship is not a teacher-and-student relationship. You should have a voice and your self-esteem should not be affected because you love someone.
If you find that you cannot decide by yourself, you’re likely loving the wrong way. People easily get tired of those who act like they are their subjects instead of partners.
It is good to communicate and consult your partner before making decisions but you should be able to do that too even if they aren’t available.
Being too invasive
Some people want to have access to the phone password of their partners. This category of people may also want to be privy to the bank account details and even the daily routines of their partners but this is wrong.
Although some people are comfortable with being open about their lives, most people love their privacy to be respected.
And if you respect your partner’s privacy, they’d do the same in turn and respect you even more. Some people become more open if they realise you hardly care about their privacy.
Being all mushy about love
It is difficult to love someone without displaying affection in different ways. However, trying to prove you love your partner so much can cause problems.
Show love but do not lose your head or self while doing these. Once they perceive you as being weak, they’d likely disrespect and not appreciate you.
True love gives a great feeling but if you’re not smart about it, you may end up with regrets. Guard your heart while in love.
Going overboard to please someone else:
You cannot love truly without making sacrifices for your loved one. However, you may be let down after giving your all to your partner. This is exactly why it is wrong to go overboard for the one you love if they haven’t done the same.
Study your partner to see if they can go overboard for you before you make those kinds of sacrifices for them.
