As humans, we are constantly changing and growing. Have you found yourself become distant from someone you once called a close friend? This is often caused by differences in life’s goal, a change in location or a shift in personality. Letting someone go is not as easy as it seems but outgrowing your friend and winning new friends might also be a sign of growth.
If you have drifted from a friend, do not feel bad because it is a natural thing to do. It may eventually turn out to be a good decision. If you have never drifted from certain friendships, it is possible that you or they are not growing.
Maybe you are undecided about saving your friendship or letting go because of incompatibility, we have listed some signs to show you are outgrowing your friend.
1 Difference In Values
Your values and morals are altered as you go through life and gain new experiences. This can lead you to seek friends who share similar beliefs with you. The moment you start disagreeing with what your friend does, it may be a sign that you’ve outgrown them.
Of course, you shouldn’t quit friendship because you always disagree with someone else’s opinion. But if the disagreement is fundamental about your key belief in life, you’d likely find yourself wanting to spend more time only with like-minded people.
Conflicting values creates distance between people because of the difference in their belief system.
2 You Hardly Spend Time Together
When you love someone and value their friendship, you would easily make out time for them. If you start making excuses not to hang out with a specific person, it is possible that you longer enjoy the relationship with that person.
Your interest, senses of humor, personalities may have fallen out of compatibility with each other. This may be painful but it is a sign that you’ve outgrown someone’s company. When you outgrow a certain friend, you find out that the person does not compliment you.
3. You Hardly Hold Down Conversations
Conversations feel forced and unnatural with people you have outgrown. Such friends are listeners than contributors to the conversation and this makes their company boring. Everybody seeks someone who can add value to their lives.
The moment you feel a friendship is not adding value to your life through conversation is the time to leave.
4. You Keep Secrets From Each Other
Friends always tell each other everything. Sometimes, friends share secrets they cannot tell their family members. If you’re holding back from telling your friend something due to fear of being criticized or being misunderstood, it is a sign that you’re no longer comfortable with their opinion.
Friendship is based on human dignity, mutual trust, communication and respect. If you start becoming wary of your friend, then it’s probably time to move on. Everyone deserves someone they can confide in without the fear of being judged or put to shame.
5 Everything Feels Unnatural With Them
Friendship is about having a healthy emotional connection with someone. People lose the connection they once had, which can lead to dull conversation. Your energy around such friends can diminish and there’d be subtle tension between you two.
A friendship must be enjoyable and always make you happy. If you feel strange around your friend, then it is okay to move on.
6. Would You Still Be Friends If You Met Them Today?
You were a different person five years ago, think about that. Everybody develops new hobbies, traits, personalities and goals with time. We all evolve and change given time, this means everybody is going to likely want a change in the kind of company they keep.
If you met your old friend as the person you are today, do you think you two would still be compatible? If your answer is no, you’ve probably outgrown that friendship. Oftentimes, people are connected because of their past.
7 You Are In a Different Phase of life
Chances are that you’d make new friends when you enter a new phase in life. Marriage, school, career, and even finances can set people apart. Every phase of life your enter will usher avail you the chance to meet people in the same phase. It is easier to live and relate with people who are in your stage of life. For instance, if you get admission into medical school, you would meet doctors in training and it will be easier to talk are relate with these people.
You will drift from friends who are in a different phase of life with you because they may not understand where you are in life.
The process of finding new friends and outgrowing other friends is continuous. All of us are constantly changing. If you drift apart from a friend, do not blame yourself. While you can make effort to maintain a friendship, it is common for people to go distant – this is natural.
If you’re changing friends, it only means you’re evolving or growing.