You must have heard the following cliches “Love conquers all”, “Love is everything”, “Love is blind” etc. Well, in as much as love should be an important component of every relationship, I believe trust is more important than love.
Every relationship must first be built on trust before love. As a matter of fact, trust is the pillar on which love thrives. Where there is little or no trust in a relationship, there will be frequent disagreements and resentments.
One of the elements of trust is belief. So, how do you even fall in love with someone you do not believe in? Most people are first convinced that they can give their time, money, affection, and other valuables before they fall in love. In fact, you have to “entrust’ a lot to some whom you fall in love with.
Many people have confused love with other kinds of feelings or even actions. Let’s look at the difference between love and trust.
Love vs Trust
- Love is an intense feeling of affection for someone or something.
- Trust is an action, a belief that someone is reliable or has special abilities.
People who try to woo a partner talk a lot about how well they can treat the person but it is their actions that matter. You can see from the actions of a person if they value you, if they are in love with you and if they can make sacrifices for you. This is exactly why trust is the product of an action.
Do not get blinded by your thoughts or feelings for someone if you cannot entrust your feelings to them.
Below are some reasons why trust is more important than love in a relationship
Love Is Built on Trust
Love flourishes when you know you can trust a person with your secrets, time, money, and every other thing. The moment you think your partner is no longer trustworthy, you’d start to lose feelings for them.
One of the reasons why most lovers fall out is because of betrayal. They shake your trust and if you can’t trust them anymore, how can you possibly love them? Oftentimes, it is difficult to love someone again if they betray you because you understand that love is just a passing feeling.
There are people who were first friends before lovers. This means they trusted each other to share so many things before falling in love.
Trust Is Enough But Love is Never Enough
Love will not endure what trust has broken. Feelings grow with trustworthy actions. In other words, if someone does more to make you trust them, your love for them will grow.
Imagine a case of infidelity – it takes work and a lot of effort to make your partner trust you again. Even if your trust is violated once, you find that you’d hardly trust again including people other than your spouse.
Love May Be Blind But Trust Isn’t Blind
People can be blinded by their feelings but if you follow your instinct of trust, it will be different. For example, questions like “does the action of my partner tally with their words?”, “Does my partner stay faithful all the time” are birthed by the lack of trust? Depending on your answers to the questions, you may end up quitting the relationship.
You can never be blinded by the trust because it is a visible attribute of love. If you ever feel betrayed by your partner, then you are aware and not blinded by the trust. In the context of marriage, most people ensure they trust their partners before agreeing to marry them.
Relationships built on Love Alone cannot survive
It is impossible for any relationship to thrive where there is no trust, this is exactly why love is never enough. As you know, your feelings for your partner can subside after a long period of being together. However, you can continue to stay in the relationship because of other elements like trust, mutual respect and understanding.
So, you cannot rely on love alone to stay in a relationship because you may eventually be heartbroken.
Trust Give Us Belief
Remember the Biblical story of Thomas? He had to put his hands on the wounds before he believed that his master had risen from the dead. Once you have the validation of trust, you’d believe everything you’re told by your partner.
You cannot believe a person who isn’t trustworthy. If you don’t trust your partner and he/she says “i love you”, would you believe it? Most of us don’t trust for the sake of it, we need what Thomas needed, validation.
You Can Only Love Again If You Trust
People fall out of love after being betrayed. Regardless, they can only give love a chance when they are convinced or when they trust again.
I’ve heard the stories of so many broken women who were abused, cheated on and maltreated by men. These sets of women find it hard to love again simply because they do not trust that any man would treat them any better.
It takes trust to love.