Some people are fortunate to have their first lover as the last while others go through multiple heartbreaks and relationships to find “the one” for them. Whichever category you belong to, there are always pointers to someone being the right person for you.
While there is no formula for knowing the right partner, you can know the right person if you’re sensitive enough. There are people who you meet and feel a great connection with but others can make you question yourself.
You cannot be good for or be compatible with everyone. Sometimes, your zodiac sign points you to people with specific traits but a great, perfect, successful and gentle lover may not be your perfect match.
Find below the signs that you’ve found your soul mate:
You Share Strength
In good times and in bad, the right or perfect match will be by your side to share all the moments. You become their rock when they need you, this means they are not only in your life for the good moments. It is only people who truly love and care about you that will be there for you when you need them.
Even when they have their own problems, they’d find time to be there for you – this is exactly what family members do for themselves, so it is with those who love truly. If you find anyone like this, they are willing to be in your life forever, keep them.
You Complement Each Other
Like a law in physics, “Like charges don’t attract but repel”. If you’re in a relationship with someone with a similar temperament and character like yours, it will be boring. Imagine an introvert getting hitched to another introvert, their “air” will be too quiet. This doesn’t say you should not have anything in common. No, you can be compatible yet different and enough for each other.
You have to be able to learn from your partner, you want them to do the things that you struggle to get done. For instance, some men love to cook while some people hate to cook. If two of you hate to cook, there’s a tendency that you’d both go hungry all day or get food frequently from the eatery.
Most seamless relationships thrive because the parties involve have complementary traits. Where one is strong, the other is weak and vice versa.
You Connect Emotionally
Soulmates understand their partners better than anyone, sometimes even better than the parents. If you connect on a very deep level with someone, they’re most likely the one for you.
When you know what makes your lover smile, you know when they are sad, you know when they need your time and you understand their emotions, you can be sure you have found the one.
You and your partner might deal with your emotions differently but you truly get each other and stay connected in deeply personal ways.
Kindness and Generosity
It is easier to find a generous person more attractive. A relationship where your partner is frugal with his time, love, attention and money will likely not last, according to John Gottman a relationship expert. Chances are that if someone strives to meet your needs, they are the one for you.
Generosity is not restricted to giving money alone, it includes things like opening car doors and doing everything to ensure they are happy. Being kind could also mean they love you as they love themselves.
You Challenge Each Other
The one for you will be your biggest fan and cheerleader. They will love you, respect and admire you. Above all, they will ensure you do not settle for less than your goals. The right person will challenge you to become a better version of yourself. For the right person, a relationship is not about them but they put you, your well-being and success first.
As long as you criticize them constructively, they won’t resist you. The right person for you will strive to help you overcome bad habits. Sometimes, tough love is the greatest gift that you need.
The right one will celebrate your victory and won’t be intimidated by your success.
You can have healthy conflicts
Disagreements and conflicts are almost inevitable in relationships. If you find you and your partner resolving conflicts in a healthy and mature way, it is a pointer they are right for you. Effective communication is when the other person understands your expressions.
Although incessant quarrels are a sign of unhealthy relationship, you could redeem such relationship through therapy.
Examples of healthy conflicts include not sleeping on the same bed because your partner refused to brush their teeth. Ask your partner how they want to be loved and do well to love them so. Find out why they act the way they do and avoid their triggers.
You Readily Apologise
Do you apologize to end the conversation? Do you say you’re sorry to get your partner off your back? The one for you will not apologise for the sake of it, they mean it when they say they are sorry.
They apologize because they recognize their fault. The right person isn’t always looking for shortcuts because they want the best for the relationship.
They Appreciate You and Are Proud Of You
The power of appreciation and gratitude is somewhat underrated in relationships. If you show gratitude or appreciation, it will encourage your partner to do more.
Appreciation is not about showing gratitude alone, bragging about your partner and their achievement is one of those. In addition, people who appreciate you will never attempt to change to you become what they like.
In appreciating your partner, you also take them for who they are and do not wait for them to improve. We all have imperfections but the one for you will take accept your shortcomings and be proud of you.
You Put In Equal Effort
A one-sided relationship is tiring and emotionally draining. If your partner isn’t putting in as much effort as you do, they are unlikely the one for you. If they are the ones for you, they will be just as eager as you are and put in equal or more effort.
Two of you put the effort into the relationship because you want to make it work. On the contrary, if you’re the only one calling, texting, or spending, you may need to leave that relationship and search for a new one.
You’re Not Codependent
Your life should not be regimented simply because you are in a relationship. A healthy relationship is made up of two independent individuals. If you’re unable to hang out with other friends, go out when you want, it is a sign of control by your partner.
Equally, while there should be mutual support in healthy relationships, individual partners should be able to take care of all their needs. Relying on your partner for your needs breeds disrespect and misunderstanding.
The right partner will remain more attractive to you if they exhibit independence. What happens if you’re dependent on someone and they don’t come through for you? It is a drag when you are codependent.
Share Similar Values
It is much easier to be in a relationship with a person who has similar values to you. Values like family, career, spirituality, health and fitness are crucial to keeping a relationship thriving.
You really don’t have to agree on everything but your primary values. If your core values of life do not align with those of your partner, you should reconsider the relationship.
Difference in core values is one of the causes of conflict. Imagine if you believe in God and your partner doesn’t or imagine if you want to have kids and your partner wants adoption.
At least you should both want the same thing or agree to want the same thing.