A lot of modern relationships do not endure the test of time because either one or two of the partners involved exhibit toxicity, thereby making the relationship unhealthy. There are instances of married couples who opt for divorce despite being married for several years – intimacy or timeless love with siblings, parents, couples are not a function of nature or luck, it takes conscious work and effort by two people to build a healthy relationship.
I loved my partner really hard in my last relationship but we still had our fair share of fights and quarrels because I was showing some toxic behaviour. Although she brought those demeanors to my attention, I never outgrew them and it led to the breaking off of the relationship. I was very naive about working on myself to make the relationship healthy, I know better now. In essence, love is not like a fairy tale movie that we see on a daily basis, it must be consciously worked on.
If relationships are not bringing peace, happiness, love, sacrifice, growth, vision, and focus to the parties involved, it may be unhealthy for them to continue therein.
If you follow these 12 tips, you are certain to build a strong, intimate, and timeless relationship.
- sincerity means behavior that is devoid of hypocrisy, deceit, or pretense. It is important that you let your partner know why you want to be with them. There are people who get into a relationship for selfish reasons like wanting to just have sex or wanting to get favour from their partners. And instead of letting the other person know their truest intentions, they don’t but leave when they have achieved their mission. If you must build a strong and healthy relationship, be open about why you are in the relationship so that there will be an agreement of purpose.
- Communication or the lack of it makes or mars every relationship. Your partner should be able to tell you when they are passing through perilous or great times. The moment they are not able to lay bare how they feel to you, they begin to lose interest and probably find someone who can be there to listen to them when they want to vent. In the case of romance, you should be able to let your partner know how you want to be touched to get maximum satisfaction, let them know how to do it rightly.
- One of the laws of nature states that whatsoever you spend your time tending to, naturally grows. Instead of always hanging out with your buddies or gang all the time, you must learn to set time aside for your partner. You may want to go out to party together, go to the movies together, skydive together or maybe travel for holidays together. This will create understanding between you two and improve the bond already existing in the relationship.
Be Appreciative and Acknowledge Effort
- If your partner goes out of their way to make you happy or comfortable, you should let them know you’re grateful for what they did, that’s appreciation. One of the many reasons why relationships fail these days is because of ingratitude for effort. When you acknowledge your partner for the effort they put in to make you happy, they’d be motivated to do even more and show more commitment.
Be A Team
- You must avoid the “I” factor and go for the “WE” factor instead. The moment you focus on only yourself, you’d make your partner feel lonely and shatter the bond in the relationship. Ensure the other party is carried along by asking for their input should you want to make any move or decision. While trying to score personal goals, you can involve your partner and seek their advice for the same. It is also a great idea to have similar goals, this will give your partner a sense of belonging.
Do not betray Trust
- A relationship without trust is akin to a car without tyres, it can never move forward. When you trust someone, you have a firm belief in their abilities and their truth. For instance, if you vow not to cheat on your partner and you are caught in that act, you have betrayed the trust they reposed in you and this will likely scupper the relationship no matter how strong the love is. You must ensure that you are true to your words and only do the things that are expected of you.
Understand and Respect Difference
- There are no two people in the world that are the same, which means we have our differences in want, opinion, emotions, and needs. To ensure your relationship and love grows stronger, you should establish understanding between the two of you, this will make you know your differences and how to relate with each other. You should be able to explain why you do the things you do and why you do not do others as well. There are things that make you happy, and every partner who is understanding will respect that.
Refrain from Verbal or Physical Abuse
- Every form of abuse, whether verbal or physical is unhealthy for thriving relationships. You must refrain from hitting your partner or using words that are capable of hurting them else such a relationship will not stand the test of time.
Be Willing to Compromise
- You will not always get want but you must be ready to go out of your way to please your partner. Committing your time, resources, emotions, health and even material things is one recipe that keeps the bond in every relationship strong. There are times when you may need to go to a place where your partner loves to go to, eat what your partner loves to eat, or even travel to a location just for the sake of your partner, all these are forms of compromises that will make every relationship thrive.
Refrain from Comparison and Let Go off Unnecessary Expectation.
- Some folks like to compare their relationships with those of their friends. If the partner of their friend is earning so much and doing so much, they expect their own spouse to do the same even if he does not have the resources. Comparison is a thief of joy and the instance you raise your expectation beyond the capacity of your partner, that’s the moment you start having troubles. Stop expecting to receive love and affection in a particular way, else you’d become insecure and scupper intimacy.
- A lot of people pretend at the beginning of their relationships with others. Instead of being themselves, they feign some sort of perfection or personality because they want to be accepted and loved by others. We all have imperfections and can be loved regardless. Those that want to be in a relationship with you will accept you for who you are, so don’t pretend.
Focus on giving love
- If you are keen on only receiving and not giving love, you would not build intimacy and grow in love. Love is not selfish, and you must ensure you give love more than you get, this way love grows stronger.