Relationships are beautiful experiences at the beginning. At the start of a relationship, everything feels like a match made in heaven. Whether it is, a dead-on-arrival kind of relationship conveniently skips lovers’ attention. There is no time to see the end in the beginning because who wants to project negativity on a perfect thing?

The lies that are sold out make you feel like you can’t see the end coming because it just comes and hits you below the belt. It is true that we never really know anyone, ourselves included. One of the metrics for knowing what people stand for is the choices they make, and most times, they only know which decision they will take once they are faced with the decision to make.

You can only judge a person’s intention in retrospect after they have made it and not before they make it. This strengthens the earlier statement that we never really know anyone, including the person we have fallen head over heels for. Yet we have patterns to trail consistency of what inspires people to make decisions.

Looking out for patterns is an innate part of being human, yet we often turn a blind eye or stay in denial because we don’t want to lose all the time and investment in the relationship. It’s funny how the human ability to track patterns and make informed decisions has been perfected in AI technology and Machine learning. Yet, we humans don’t trust our instincts when we see the signs that a person or thing is not suitable for us, and when the relationship ends, it’s like a scale dropped from the eyes.

The point is there are signs that your relationship is heading for an end, and sometimes, these signs are there before the relationship starts. In contrast, others are visible when the relationship begins. Below is a list of signs to watch out for to help you make an informed decision.

12 Signs You Need To Quit Your Relationship

1 The Relationship is solely about the romantic pull

Romantic attraction to your partner is essential in any relationship. It keeps you permanently attracted to that person regardless of their behaviour. The romantic pull is part of what makes the bond solid but not the entirety of the bond anyway.

A healthy and robust relationship consists of having specific values in common with your partner other than romance. If you do not share similar interests, goals, values, experience or any common ground, that means the foundation of the relationship is weak to build on. This type of relationship can collapse easily.

2 You do not like their friends

The saying “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are” is quite true because most people tend to make friends with their kind. There is nothing wrong with you and your partner having their friends. But a problem will arise when one of the parties dislikes the social circle of the other.

You are a reflection of your friends, and if you do not like your partner’s friends, it is a pointer to the fact that you may not like the person you are with. This could signify that you are not meant to be together.

3 You spend too much time together

On the social flip side, is your partner the only person you see to the exclusion of everyone else? If you spend too much time together with your partner, it may erode your sense of self. Of course, words of affirmation are romantic and lovely to know. However, if taken at face value, it could mean depending on your partner for your identity and happiness. This situation is not healthy or sustainable.

4 There are no boundaries

Does your partner have access to your bank information and social media accounts? Does your partner know the password of your phone? Do they allow you to hang out with friends other than you? If your answer is affirmative, your relationship lacks some critical boundaries. You must set boundaries to have privacy or even space to enjoy yourself or do the things you want.

Any relationship without boundaries is unlikely to last because the people involved cannot exhibit their unique identities.

5 Your relationship feels one sided

It is easy for people to say they love you, and it is different when they fail to show the love they profess in their words or actions. For example, do you usually start a conversation or plan your date together? Do you feel you are getting less than you are giving? Yes, being in a relationship does not mean you compete with your partner, but the two people involved must be seen to be putting in effort else the relationship will not last long

6 He doesn’t include you in plans

If your partner is vested in you, they will tell you about their long-term plans and include you. Imagine that your partner is always hanging out with other friends for fun activities, and you must be carried along. This means they don’t value you or see you as someone special that is worth their time. It would be best if you wanted out of the relationship when you realise that your partner has made futuristic plans without you.

7 You feel controlled

If you often notice that your decision and opinion are constantly overridden, it is a sign that the relationship might not last long. Does your partner make decisions without input and expect you to be happy without complaints? If the answer is yes, your partner doesn’t care about you or your feelings. For a relationship to be healthy, the people involved must mutually respect each other. If you are in a relationship with this kind of imbalance, chances are that the relationship will not last long. However, this can be changed when your partner values your opinion and stop being controlling.

8 You can’t be yourself around them

First impressions are essential. When we first meet our partners, we dress modestly and filter our personalities to make us seem perfect. What about the second, third, fourth impression and so on? By this point, should the relationship be healthy and strong? There’s no need to put on the first impression suit or do all the make-up before a meet-up. If you tend to wear up a very different personality because you are meeting up with your partner, chances are that the relationship won’t last long.

9 You don’t feel accepted

Does your partner feed a constant flow of criticism over you because of your flaws?

They are critical of you because they want you to change how you dress and speak. They make you feel they want a different person from the one standing right in front. Unfortunately, most people justify this kind of abuse at the start of their relationships to make it work. But, unfortunately, the reality is that you are sacrificing your uniqueness for a person who does not see your worth. Everyone should be treated like the gem they are and not mistaken for a lump of coal that needs refining.

10 You don’t trust your boo

Trust is a fundamental requirement for any relationship to thrive. Without trust, you will build resentment and question whatever your partner does or tell you.

You don’t have to explain yourself all time. And if there’s a lack of trust, expect the relationship to break down often and be ready to resolve conflicts all the time.

11 You fight all the time

Occasional conflict handled correctly is a healthy and natural part of relationships. It helps couples understand and treat each other differences better. However, if the disputes are constant, especially early in the relationship, it is not a good sign, and it could mean you are both incompatible. All the energy for the relationship is sapped with argument. This can push you further away from your partner because you can begin screaming at each other simply from a conversation. It is not healthy and sustainable for any relationship.

12 They are regularly mean to other people

Were you surprised when your gentle and soft-spoken partner acted impatient and rude to the waiter? Your partner acts all sweet to you and arrogant to another. It would be best if you were wary that they tend to be this way to people at their service. They may be putting up a facade to win your love.