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10 Myths About Marriage You Shouldn’t Believe

Myths about marriage
Marry for Love Alone

A lot of people have had their flourishing relationships broken off simply because they held on to myths about marriage that was created by society. Instead of treating their partners based on their true feelings and knowledge, they try to obey and follow a sort of theory that is widely believed but isn’t necessarily the truth.

When you get into marriage with this kind of mindset, it would be difficult to treat your partner rightly and build a good love life.

There’s the story of Dan who fell in love with a girl in his neighborhood. His relationship was thriving until his high school friend started to change his mindset about dating from the neighborhood. His friend, Emil, claimed his girlfriend would easily fall out of love with him because of their close proximity. A relationship where partners miss each other and do not have frequent access to each other would last longer, in his opinion.

Because Dan was easily swayed by the opinion of others, he started to think about quitting the relationship. Have you thought this way too?. That thought process is nothing more than a myth. There’s no express formula for a successful relationship other than two people who are ready and have made the choice to love each other regardless.

We have listed some of the myths about marriage/relationships that might have negatively affected your love life.

  • Follow Your Heart

Following your heart means, submitting yourself to your emotions, following how you feel. When it comes to relationships, do not always follow your emotions. Yes, your emotions are real but they are not always right – this means, your emotions can be based on something totally false. This is exactly why you find some people cry when they watch certain scenes in a movie – in this scenario, they are not in the movie scene which makes their cry telling.

You’re prone to staying in an abusive relationship if you follow your heart. The man or woman might be verbally abusive but you’d choose to stay put because you feel that you love them.

Following your heart is one of the myths about marriage, so instead of following your heart, follow facts because facts don’t lie.

  • There Are No Rules For a Relationship

People who say there are no rules governing relationships claim “what works for one person would not work for another”. While this is very true, there are principles for a successful relationship, however, the application of the rules or principles might vary from person to person. For instance, one of the rules of a successful relationship is reciprocity – if a woman gives, the man should not only take but give as well else she’d get tired of being at the giving end alone. Another rule for a successful relationship is spending time together (companionship) – spending time does not mean you have to do it indoors alone, you can spend time outdoors, spend time at work together and etc.

Life, career, business, academics and etc all have workable rules so why not relationships?

  • All Men Cheat

Whoever came up with this theory has done a great disservice to the man. Yes, there are men who cheat, a huge chunk of them but there are also many men who stay faithful to their women. Getting into a relationship with the mindset that your man is a cheat can leave you a tad disrespectful of your man. You may suspect him when he comes back home late from work, you may not want to listen to him or want to hear him out, and your trust for him may be really low.

Infidelity is not gender-specific but a lot of people are staying faithful in their relationships. Get into a relationship with an open mind if you want it to be successful.

  • Settle Quarrels Before You Go To Bed

I find it somewhat manipulative that you have to fix all disagreements before hitting your pillow. This thought is one of the myths about marriage/relationships. There are differences that could come and which do not require a quick fix. In fact, some people think better when they are allowed to brood over issues instead of jumping on them to have them sorted.

If you do not feel like talking over your issues with your partner the same day before bedtime, that’s totally fine.

  • There’s Only One Good Person For Me

Some people believe that everybody in the world has one person of the opposite gender specially created for them in the form of a soul mate – this is an erroneous thought process. Truth is, there are several options of good and very compatible people with you.

No, you must not marry a particular person to be fulfilled and happy in life. All you should do is check them out and make your choice. Avoid being stuck in your past, saying you missed your ex because they were the only perfect person for you. You can pass up a good option and still meet other better options.

  • Sex Frequency Matter

One of the myths about marriage is the above subject. Yes, sex is very necessary for a relationship to thrive but the frequency of sex in a relationship should depend on how much both partners want it. So, if you are sexually frigid, you should look out for someone who has the same drive as you, else you’d leave your partner frustrated.

The basic thing is to communicate with your partner and let them know if you are getting the satisfaction that you desire sexually.

  • All Relationships Have Challenges

The above myth is true and not always true – there are several instances where issues arise but are talked over and resolved. However, there’s a stark difference between a slight dispute resolved with communication and a problematic relationship, there’s also a difference between that and a troubled relationship – for example, there are issues with your car that you’d be able to quickly fix and there are issues with your car that can ground it, and there are problems your car may have that you’d need to get a new one. So, in this context, if you are able to fix your relationship with communication and the issues aren’t constant, then it’s fine.

Relationships have conflicts but if it becomes incessant, it is a sign that you’re not headed for the same direction. However, relationships can be peaceful, loving, sweet even when there are disagreements. Disagreement mustn’t always degenerate into fighting or abuse.

  • Love Is All That Matters

Love matters in a relationship but love alone is not enough for a relationship to thrive. Relationships are simple and also complex, so you’d need some sort of guidance and knowledge of your partner to be able to navigate the relationship.

More than love, goals, and vision must align for a relationship to be seamless. Over time, love may fade away but the binding force between you two could be the goals and aspirations that you share.

  • You Can’t Have Secrets In a Relationship

Some people have had their relationship broken off because they didn’t respect the privacy of their partner. Even if you are in a loving relationship, there are things that you can keep really close to your heart. For instance, you may not like a particular outfit of your partner, if you do not have a good way to tell them, you can just keep it to yourself.

This is not to encourage lies, deceit, but you may not be able to share every detail of your daily dealings with your partner. Saying that you can’t have secrets in a relationship is one of the numerous myths about marriage.

  • You Always Need to Feel a Spark

Many people have a preconceived idea of what love is but it is not their fault. Watching movies and cartoons creates pictures of fantasies, romance and when young people get into relationships, they want that kind of fairy tale love. Some people think they ought to always have a feeling of butterflies in their stomach or a spark for their relationship to be alive.

More often than not, friendship, understanding, shared interest, mutual respect, trust, communication, honesty sustains a relationship more than love or a spark.

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