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11 Common Early Dating Mistakes You Must Avoid


A romantic relationship could be quite exciting and filled with fun.  It could also cause a lot of anxiety and worries. In dating, there are possibilities of experiencing some frustrating, disappointing and stressful moments. Nonetheless, the beauty of being in or finding someone to be in a romantic relationship can be so pleasing to the soul.

Do you often get so nervous that you commit blunders at the early stage of your relationship? Have you ever made common mistakes that ruined your chances of finding a compatible partner? Did you dive so excitedly into dating then suddenly find yourself stumbling into some common pitfalls? Just relax! We’ll show you how to navigate the tricky early dating stages to avoid some common mistakes that can hinder building a relationship.

Here are 10 early dating mistakes that you must avoid if you want to have a successful and satisfying dating experience.

1. Having unrealistic expectations

One of the mistakes people make in their early dating stage is expecting too much from their potential partners. Some people put their partners on a very high pedestal. They idealize them by projecting their fantasies on them. How can you expect your partner to fulfil your desires and supply all your needs? When these expectations are not met, it leads to disappointment,  gives a feeling of resentment and may cause conflict in the new relationship.

Try as much as you can to be open to reality. Be flexible about what you are looking for in a partner. Understand that no one is perfect or without flaws. Accept the fact that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Concentrate on the quality.

Make compromises on the less important personal qualities. Resist the temptation of judging someone based on superficial criteria, such as appearance, status, or wealth. Do not compare them to your exes or other people.

2. Moving too fast or too slow

Not allowing the relationship to progress naturally is another common mistake that people make in early dating. Moving too fast and at a pace that is not comfortable for them, or their partners may be extremely disastrous. Some may rush into a relationship and get too attached. Others become too intimate in a very short while. They take time to know each other to build trust and good rapport.

Some think moving slowly, playing hard to get or responding with the same energy as their partners is normal. They end up making their partners feel bored, confused, or insecure and lose interest or patience.

Try to find a balance between being too eager and too detached. Respect your partner’s pace and boundaries. Communicate openly and honestly about your feelings, expectations, and intentions and listen to your partner’s feedback. Don’t assume that you are on the same page. Do not pressure or manipulate your partner to do something they are not ready for. Let the relationship develop naturally and organically.

3. Being too possessive or too independent

People also make the mistake of being too possessive, needy or independent. Their insecurities make them too clingy and dependent. They always rely on their partners for validation, happiness, or support. Some constantly seek their partners’ attention, approval, or reassurance, and ask for too much time, energy or affection. They may also be jealous, or controlling or encroach into the social life of their partners. This tends to suffocate their partners and create resentment and conflict.

Others, on the other hand, may be too independent or detached. They act as if they don’t need or care about their partners. In some instances, they may avoid intimacy, vulnerability, or emotional connection. You find them keep a distance and secrets, or build certain walls around themselves. They may also be selfish, arrogant, or indifferent, and neglect their partners’ needs, feelings, or opinions. This can push their partners away, create distrust and misunderstanding and prevent them from forming a deep bond.

In the early dating stage, you must cultivate a healthy sense of self and interdependence. Be confident and comfortable in your skin trying not to depend on your partner for your happiness or fulfillment. This should not stop you from being attentive and caring. Endeavour to respect your partner’s individuality and autonomy while also sharing your thoughts and emotions. Also, let your partner into your life; however, be yourself, and don’t be afraid to love and expect love in return.

4. Playing games or sending mixed signals

Playing games or sending mixed signals is a common mistake that should be avoided at the early dating stage. People may act inconsistently, unpredictably, and dishonestly to manipulate their partners’ emotions or behaviour. They may also use strategies such as ghosting or gaslighting to gain an advantage or protect themselves from getting hurt by their partners. This can confuse, frustrate, or hurt their partners, and damage their trust and respect.

Be real, consistent and transparent. Treat your partner with honesty and integrity. Be clear and direct about what you want, need and feel. Expect the same from your partner. Don’t waste your time or energy on someone who is not serious sincere and reliable.

5. Ignoring red flags or deal-breakers

Turning a blind eye to red flags or deal-breakers is also a common mistake that shouldn’t be made. You should not for any reason overlook, rationalize, or justify your partner’s flaws.  Certain behaviours indicate incompatibility, toxicity, or danger. Never also ignore your intuition, values, or standards. Do not compromise your happiness, safety, or well-being because it can lead to an unhealthy relationship.

Red flags or deal-breakers should not be ignored and excuses or exceptions shouldn’t be made for them. Trust your gut.|Do not let your emotions, hopes, or fears cloud your judgment. If something feels wrong, it probably is and if something is too good to be true, it probably is. Don’t settle for someone who is not right for you, and don’t be afraid to walk away.

6. Talking too much or too little

Some people make the mistake of letting out too much or withholding a lot. Dominating the conversation, talking about yourself alone or interrupting your partner without giving them a chance to speak or ask questions is a bad sign. Don’t reveal too much personal information, opinions or feelings.

Do not also be too quiet, shy or reserved.  This can make your partners feel ignored, uninterested, or disconnected. You may miss out on the opportunity to get to know your partner better.

Try to strike a balance between talking too much and too little. Engage in a two-way, meaningful and respectful conversation. While being curious, be attentive too and show interest in your partner’s life, hobbies, passions, and goals. Ask open-ended questions and listen actively and empathetically. Don’t overshare or undershare, and don’t hide or lie. Just be yourself, and let your partner see the real you.

7. Being too negative or too positive

Showing signs of excess pessimism or too much optimism is a mistake made by some people in the early dating stage. People who are too negative tend to focus more on the flaws of their partners and this is not good for relationships. You find them always complaining without offering solutions to problems. This usually results in making their partners feel depressed, drained and hopeless.

On the contrary, being overly positive makes one ignore difficulties and realities. Try not to be too negative and too positive. Adopt a realistic, balanced, and positive attitude. Be aware of and accept the challenges, limitations, and uncertainties, in yourself, your partner, and your situation. Don’t deny, avoid, or exaggerate them.

However, be hopeful and grateful for the opportunities, strengths, and possibilities in yourself, your partner, and your situation trying not to neglect, undermine or take them for granted. Rather than complain or praise, communicate and appreciate. Be honest and supportive and help your partner grow and improve.

8. Being too rigid or too flexible

Certain individuals enter relationships with varying degrees of rigidity or adaptability. Some exhibit excessive stubbornness and take pride in it. They adhere strictly to their own plans, preferences, or opinions, often neglecting their partners’ needs. This behavior can lead to feelings of frustration, neglect, and disrespect in their partners.

On the other hand, they may as well be too easy-going, adaptable, or agreeable going along with their partners’ every plan, preference, or opinion without expressing their own needs, wants, or perspectives. Even while welcoming change, challenge, or feedback, they may do so without having a clear sense of direction, purpose, or identity which can make their partners feel bored, unchallenged, or unappreciated.

Ensure you are not too rigid and too flexible; be open-minded, cooperative, and respectful. Be willing and able to compromise, negotiate, and accommodate your partner’s needs, wants, and perspectives. Refuse the urge to be selfish, stubborn, or arrogant. Try to be assertive and confident, and communicate and defend, your own needs, wants as well as perspectives. Be sure you are not being passive, indecisive, or unnecessarily submissive. Allow flexibility and adaptability, but also have a vision and a voice.

9. Comparing or competing with others

This mistake is usually very tempting as most people consciously or unconsciously compare themselves or their partners or enter unwarranted competition with others. They may compare themselves, their partners to other people to others such as their exes, friends, family, or celebrities, and feel insecure, inferior, or dissatisfied. Some may compete with their partners or other people, for attention, affection, or validation.  Others feel jealous, resentful, or threatened making their partners feel inadequate, unloved, or unhappy thereby damaging their self-esteem and relationship.

Whether in an early dating stage or in an already established relationship, you must not compare your partner or yourself to or compete with others for any reason. You should rather focus on yourself, your partner, and your relationship. Appreciate and celebrate your own uniqueness, strengths, and achievements. Don’t let others’ opinions, judgments or expectations affect your self-worth or happiness. Celebrate your partner’s uniqueness, strengths, and achievements, and don’t let others’ actions, words, or presence, affect your love or trust. Appreciate and celebrate your relationship’s uniqueness, strengths, and achievements, and don’t let others’ relationships, stories, or advice, affect your compatibility or satisfaction. Be yourself, love your partner, and enjoy your relationship.

10. Giving up or settling down too soon

Another common mistake people make is giving up or settling down too soon. They may give up on dating or a potential partner too soon without giving their partners or themselves a fair chance or without trying to overcome the obstacles, challenges, or differences that may come at the early dating stage. They may also settle down with a partner or in a relationship too soon without making efforts to explore their options preferences, or goals, or without ensuring their compatibility, happiness, or commitment. This can make them lose the opportunity to find a better match or to improve their relationship.

There is a need to be patient, persistent, and proactive. Don’t give up on dating or a potential partner too soon. Give yourself and your partner enough time, space, and opportunity to get to know each other to work on your issues, challenges, or differences. Don’t settle down with a partner or in a relationship too soon. Make sure that you are ready, willing and able to commit to your partner as well as to your relationship. See that you are compatible, happy, and fulfilled. Don’t rush or force, but rather wait and see. Don’t settle for less, but rather strive for more.

11. Prematurely Discussing Long-Term Commitment

One of the most common mistakes is diving into discussions about long-term commitment too soon. It’s important to allow the relationship to naturally progress and develop before bringing up topics like marriage, moving in together, or having children. Prematurely discussing these matters can put unnecessary pressure on both parties and potentially scare off your partner


By steering clear of these common early dating mistakes, you can set a solid foundation for a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Remember to be patient, communicate openly, and stay true to yourself as you navigate the exciting journey of dating.

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